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4 Mistakes You're Making When You Call Her
Now you've got her phone number, what's next? You need to begin another charm offensive campaign to snag an actual date. Phone calls can get awkward if you catch her at a bad time, or you don't know what to talk about and there's a lot of dead air or worse, you talk too much and you don't know if she's quiet because she's listening, she's gone to the loo or she fell asleep. Stop worrying and follow these telephone tips.
Choose Your Moments
She says: “I’m actually out with my friends right now.”
You say: “Cool, I was just folding my laundry and trying to figure out Heroes. Anyway, you want to go to the movies or see a show on Friday?”
The problem: She can’t be expected to turn attention away from her friends and make plans just because you happened to call. Hear a lot of noise in the background or have a bad connection? Ask if there’s a better time to call.
Bag The Bragging
She says: “I’m really looking forward to the summer.”
You say: “That’s funny, because I was talking to buddies from NUS over the weekend about a trip…”
The problem: Gratuitously mentioning status-related details (uni/car/condo) comes off as insecure and bragging, two qualities that don’t exactly win over the ladies. Letting her stumble across your secrets (or coax them out in more personal moments) shows confidence, says Ann Demarais, Ph. D., a psychologist and coauthor of First Impressions. When she mentions summer, ask what she’s most looking forward to… and more conversation will ensue. Questions show interest, a quality with melting power.
Find Common Ground
She says: “Yeah, I love music. I saw U2 last year. They were great.”
You say: “Bono is such a tool. The only thing worse than his music is the windshield-sized sunglasses.”
The problem: The point of banter is to find commonalities – people don’t want their opinions dismissed. Stuck on a mismatch? Be positive and creative, and show humour – the first things you say will be the filter she sees you through, Demarais says.
Better banter: “I missed U2, but I did catch Springsteen.”
She says: “I’ve never been that into him, but I loved Bruce’s cameo in High Fidelity.”
You say: “That was cool. I’m a big Nick Hornby fan.”
She says: “Oh my god. I love his stuff.” (And that’s how Bono can bring people together.)
Speak In Sound Bites
She says: “I teach high-school social studies. There’s never a boring day at that place.”
You say: “You know, I was reading an article in the Straits Times about education policy, and…”
The problem: Sounds like a lecture is coming. Bad move. Keep the back-and-forth banter flowing by speaking in short sound bites – any less, you’re boring; any more, you run the risk of seeming like a bore, says Robyn Landow, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in New York City.
Stay light on details and throw in compliments when possible. “I hear working with teenagers is difficult. How do you do it?” picks out something that matters to her – always a powerful aphrodisiac – while also moving along the conversation with a question, you suave devil.
Taken from http://www.menshealth.com.sg/sex-relationships/4-mistakes-youre-making-when-you-call-her
Response to 4 Mistakes You're Making When You Call Her
This article reveals the mistakes that men make when calling a woman after getting her number. As both parties are not familiar with each other, establishing a form of connection is important during the phone call to secure a date. However, many men are unaware of the mistakes they make when calling a girl for the first time. This article examines the consequences of a man’s likely responses to different statements made by a woman and how they should avoid messing up.
This article illustrates four possible scenarios during a conversation, each showing a different aspect of what attracts female attention and what turns them off. Simply put, the author thinks that there are seven key points to a good phone conversation:
1) Don’t brag.
2) Don’t dismiss opinions
3) Ask questions to show interest
4) Talk about things that matter to her
5) Compliment
6) Be positive, creative and humourous
7) Stay light on details
Perhaps something that could be added to the article would be the author’s opinion on when should be the right time to call, whether a man should call right after meeting the girl or a few days after making acquaintances. There is a very popular belief that men should call after three days, also known as the “Three Days Rule”. I personally think that when a man likes a girl, he should call her as soon as he can, so that there is a clear indication of interest on his part.
I agree with the author to a large extent, especially since his ideas are applicable not just from a male perspective, but from a female perspective as well. One cannot hope to establish connection with the other party if he or she does not put in effort to know more about the other. Therefore, in my opinion, this article should not be specifically targeting the male audience, but instead meant for both genders. This is especially true as nowadays, women are taking more initiative when it comes to relationships.