Wednesday, April 02, 2008
i am stuck in this stupid rat race.
and so are you whos reading this post.
dont tell me you are joining the rat race when you enter the workforce.
you are already
in it.one week of illness leaves me panicky.
i want straight As for A levels.
i want to do well for nationals.
like who doesnt.
my mum tells me to slow down.
just take it easy.i am a perfectionist. academics, floorball, music everything.
and then ill fall sick. really sick. those type that last for around a week, skip school a few days.
and im glad. im thankful for the break. but i start to get panicky once im well.
today my dad called from overseas. he said the same thing.
take it easy. relax.
so what if you dont get As? its enough to just get into university.
but i cant. i cant just relax. ive been stuck in the rat race for as long as i remember.
top grades.
top music diplomas.
top cca records, they just have to be better than others.
top everything.
thats the whole problem you see.
i cant get out of the rat race.
i cant just drop out right now, when its one of my most crucial years.
im afraid that i wont be able to drop out, or at least slow down one day.
i can even foresee it happening.
top career. rich. successful. big house.
top husband. top kids. top schools.
its crazy. im not exactly sure thats what i want.
what about the other things in life?
relationships, relaxation,
the whole 'stopping to smell the flowers' concept?
opportunity cost, the sacrifices,
less time for family, friends,
myself even,
to read more novels,
to go swimming,
to catch up with old friends, (bet ill have a lot of catching up to do)
to just have breakfast with my family,
maybe i should do all that.
one of these days.
but right now, i have to return to my work.
to the rat race.
ive rested for approximately 1/2 an hour. mann.
imagine how much the others have caught up.
hui jun published at 4/02/2008 08:08:00 PM
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