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in memory of Mr Stephen Loh Soon Ann.


(1976-2007)

it all seems so unreal.
i never thought ill actually cry when you are gone.

i remember the first time i met you, 6 months ago. bingxin was complaining to me about how that new pe teacher wanted to take group photos with them.
and how you made her write down everyone's names and stick them on the group photo and pass it to you.
it was damn funny. then.
i didnt appreciate the fact that you actually bothered to get to know each of your students' names individually.
not many teachers bother to do that anymore. some can teach us for a whole year and still call us, "girl".


and then i realised i had you as my pe teacher as well. my first impression of you was bad, frankly speaking.
it was a rainy afternoon. jolynn and i were the first to arrive for pe.
us: mr lohhhh, raining laa. dont need pe. whine whine whine. let us go for lunch la. very hungry.
mr loh: haha cannot la wait for the rest of the class first. what are your names and ccas?
we told him.
us: since we are the first to arrive you should just give us some incentive and let us off early, like now =)
mr loh got super serious at this point.
NO. ITS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO COME ON TIME. HOW CAN YOU SKIP PE? ITS LIKE ANY OTHER LESSON.
we were damn shocked.
us: omg mr loh chill. we were just kidding.

so that was mr loh and he sure made a first impression =) we thought he was some serious dude with big muscles who couldnt stand a joke. how wrong we were.

consequently we got to know him better and realised he was just sooo lame, with loads of stupid jokes that made us laugh. jolynn and i never failed to make his life miserable i guess, moaning and groaning like we were gonna die during basketball lessons, i really dislike basketball. im sure many of us are guilty of making pe teachers' lives miserable as well. i never once saw mr loh get angry though.

i remember the time, but just one month ago where you messaged me asking floorball to help with the games carnival.
and mer was like, "omg mr loh likes you he doesnt like me!" cause you didnt message her.
it was damn funny. then.
and i remember you giving me that -you are soooo late- look when i arrived super late for the games carnival. all the other ccas had already set up except floorball. haha. you didnt even scold me.
you brought me to the office. and you gave me stuff to carry.
wait no. you told me what i needed and carried everything for me.

and of course who can forget YLTC.
just last week at night you were standing in front of a dead bunch of kids whom were out on sea expeditions the whole day (the irony) introducing our external speaker.
just last week wanting and i were commenting on how you look like one of the external speakers and laughing our heads off.
just last week i was canoeing alongside your wanderer.
just last week wanting was asking you if you were the 'sideman' cause you kept rowing along the sidelines and you said no, you just didnt wanna get into the mess in the centre.
just last week we were telling you that you were so smart so we did the same thing as well.
just last week i was asking if you were a canoeist cause your strokes were good.
all you said was "No, why?" and gave me that cheeky smile.
and i told you i was a canoeist.
and you were so surprised.
you didnt even tell me that you were a national dragonboater.
but heyy you dont have the chance to anymore.
i found out anyway.

the last time i saw you was on tuesday. you were training the squashers, and i thought, "If they keep training at this rate they are gonna do well next year."

ill never go, "hi mr loh!!" ever again.
ill never see you in your blue pe shirt ever again.
i never told you i liked that shirt.

dear mr loh,
if i ever had another one last minute with you, this is what i have to say:
thank you for being such a cheerful teacher, with such dedication. ill miss your smile.
your muscles are so huge they are too big for your head. =)
but heyy i admire your self motivation, your pullups, damn scary mann.
i would have liked to have known you better, after knowing that you are a national dragon boater.
dragon boat is my favourite sport afterall. bet you never knew that.
and im so sorry for ever being whiny during your classes,
and that i hate basketball.

if there is a God,
i pray that the families and friends of those lost in this tragedy will be able to get over it soon, if at all.
i pray for their teammates, whos trauma they feel right now is way beyond measure.
i pray for mr nasiman, their coach, my coach as well, please stay strong.
i pray for justin and chunhow, my seniors who were on that unfortunate boat.

everytime i close my eyes, i see your face.
i see you in your blue shirt, giving me that cheeky smile.
i walk on the streets. i see people laughing.
i feel like screaming, "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING?! dont you get it?! five dragonboaters are dead. mr loh is dead."
and i feel like life just sucks.
at least you died doing what you loved. and i believe you died fighting.

Death ends a life, not a relationship. -hx
Mr Loh, though you've only been in nj for 6 months, you will be remembered.


May they rest in peace.

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