Wednesday, June 22, 2005
ive been thinking quite a lot these few days.. due to the fact tat i was sick n lying in bed most of the time..
my sis friens came today and they were playing my childhood games.. stuff like basement hide n seek n lift catching where we wld take the lift to all 26 floors n try n catch each other by going to diff floors.. we could spend the whole afternoon just playing the same game. when i watched them, it struck me suddenly,
im growing up too fast. to think just three years back me n my childhood playmates were so close, we could tell each other practically anything.. we met each afternoon without fail and played till evening.. but to date, we r like strangers, a passing smile now n then, each of us too caught up in our own little lives to bother with one another anymore.. but deep inside we yearn for the great times we had when we were younger.. we still yearn for one another..
i still remember the time when i was in p6 , where i was pretty much nervous but excited about secondary school, where i wld ask my mum, "wad am i going to learn in sch? would it be very different from now?" n frm then, 3 yrs have passed. im even in jc now..
things are changing too fast. i miss the innocence of childhood. where everything was so simple.. so pure. a simple "i dont friend u anymore" can resolve in a "i friend u" again in mere seconds. n it was accepted. there were no lies, no tricks in childhood land, only fun n laughter.
I wanna be a child again. everyday new friendships are formed, current friendships grow stronger but not so current friendships become weaker n weaker.. its a vicious cycle.. im afraid. im afraid tat ill forget my old friends when new friends are found. i dont want to. but i will. n im afraid. im starting to forget my p6 life alrdy.. although it has only been 3 yrs. who knows how many of my classmates ill still rmbr when i enter uni? n my st nicks friens.. my sec 1 classmates.. ask me to name them now n i can hardly name half of them. unless i look at the photos. pathetic right?
i juz wnt for a training camp last wk.. n it reminded me a lot of stc. the fun we had, the joy, the pain, the hardwork, the sweat n the bonds we built n strengthened. it was not about how tough it was, it was about being
together, being there for one another. i miss np alot, not the drills n push ups, but the ppl. the squad. its pretty curious. a bunch of individualistic ppl being thrown together by a twist of fate, being made to love n care for one another. n we did it.
i guess canoeing is pretty much like np but just tat i dont connect as well with the ppl.. but i like it still. its always abt "us", nvr abt "me". farewell.. i hate farewells... but well its just a nasty part of life tat everyone has to go through.. in a mths time it will be nat.. then the seniors will be leaving.. its gonna be pretty weird.. as in they have always been..
there. there when u need them. there when you dont need them. just...
there. it will be even worse when the juniors leave. whose gonna be with me n nat? we will be so alone... dont wanna think abt it..
im 15.. so fast.. im in my mid teens alrdy.. there are so many things that i wanna do.. but so little time to do them.. soon ill be in my twenties.. n before i know it ill be married will kids.. n ill turn into an old hag reminiscing abt her good old days..
I wanna be a child again.what a long post. u must be an air head to read it this long. or u really must be veri free.
hui jun published at 6/22/2005 10:37:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment